Shifting the Script: From Victimhood to Empowered Narratives
Have you ever encountered someone who seems perpetually mired in their struggles, weaving narratives of victimhood into every conversation?
It's as though they've scripted themselves as the perennial underdog, replaying the same storyline ad nauseam. In contrast, individuals who exude resilience navigate life's obstacles with unwavering positivity.
The difference lies in how they've embraced their narratives – one as a victim, the other as a conqueror. This is a crucial aspect of personal development.
When we meet someone and start sharing things about our lives, considering this is a conversation on a friendly level, we not only talk about what's currently going on in our lives but also tell stories from our past. We naturally do that because those events impacted who we became.
In most cases, the stories we still carry with us and relay that have a lasting impact and leave their mark are either very painful or joyous, embedding themselves into our identity. However, we tend to quickly forget the good stuff and hold on to the painful experiences. While joy is fleeting, pain tends to linger, often becoming ingrained in our identity.
Indeed, our beliefs about ourselves, our past, and our future are self-authored tales. Like master storytellers, we weave the threads of our experiences into a narrative that defines us. But here's the kicker: while we may be the architects of our stories, we're also the protagonists, directing the plotlines of our lives. This self-awareness is vital to self-improvement and self-worth.
The Theater of Life
Imagine this: You're in a packed movie theater, and the film playing is your life. Every person you've ever known – family, friends, acquaintances – is in the audience, each viewing you through their own lens. As the protagonist of your story, you're keenly aware of how you're perceived, perhaps even feeling self-conscious through your lens, but here's the twist – everyone sees you differently. Just as a color appears differently to each observer, so does your essence, which varies from viewer to viewer. This visualization can be a powerful tool for mindset transformation.
Considering that you are viewed through different lenses all the time, it is absurd to think you can be responsible for what people think of you. Do you think you can keep everyone "happy"? Especially the ones you love? Can you change people's perceptions about how they view life or their view of you? Of course not! So why do we punish ourselves, thinking we must conform to keep everyone content or play a role that fits their boxes? That is futile, and we tire ourselves of feeling responsible for our partner, parent, children, client, or friends' state of mind or feelings about us.
Despite our best efforts, we can't control how others perceive us. We can't bend ourselves to fit their expectations or mold their opinions. Yet, we often find ourselves contorting ourselves into shapes that please others, exhausting ourselves in pursuit of validation.
But what if we flipped the script? What if we liberated ourselves from the burden of others' expectations and embraced our true selves, unencumbered by the weight of past narratives? After all, the stories we cling to – the ones that define us – are often mere illusions, distorted reflections of reality. Overcoming past trauma is essential in this process.
Self-Worth and Relationships
Consider, for instance, the link between self-worth and relationships. It's easy to equate our value with our roles in others' lives, measuring our worth by the love we give and receive. But what happens when those relationships dissolve? Does our worth diminish? Of course not. We remain the sum of our intrinsic worth, untouched by the ebb and flow of external validation.
The most important thing is what you think about yourself. What do you see when you watch your character in your movie? How you view who you are. You cannot control how others perceive you. You can be friendly to a group of people, and each person will still have an opinion that differs from the person next to him. Thus, you cannot base your worth on anyone's opinion or view of you—no matter who. You can be the best to everyone in your life; that is what we strive for, but in the end, your worth is only in how you feel inside.
If you've been in a committed relationship in which you invested a lot - your time, energy, services, and affection- and made other sacrifices, you equate that with the worth you contributed to the relationship. People say, "I gave it my all," so that would be what worth you gave of yourself to the
other person. In this relationship, what you exchange with the other person matters; both parties give their best if they intend to have a good relationship.
On a personal note, I used to feel unworthy and, as a result, ended up in toxic relationships, which further damaged my self-worth. This impacted my work and finances because I doubted myself.
But then I decided to create my new identity as a prosperous woman who not only radically accepts and loves herself but can create the life of her dreams.
So now, I help women transform their lives by developing emotional security, becoming financially independent, and owning their truth and worth.
If this resonates with you and you're ready to take control of your financial future, I invite you to explore ProsperWoman’s Signature Program.
At ProsperWoman, we offer a holistic approach to financial independence, helping you transform both your mindset and your money management skills.
Together, we can create a path toward lasting prosperity.
It's time to #OwnYourWorth and shape your financial destiny.
Enrolling in ProsperWoman’s Signature Program, “Money Mastery for Women,” will also give you a free copy of Carmen’s eBook, "Breaking Free: Empowering Women to Escape Abuse and Achieve Financial Independence," as a bonus.
The Link Between Self-Worth and Finances
Similarly, our relationship with money is fraught with misconceptions. We chase wealth to secure and maintain our status, believing it to be the key to happiness. Yet true contentment lies not in material abundance but in realizing our inherent worth. Financial security and self-worth are deeply interconnected.
Why is it helpful to work on our sense of self to improve our finances?
Well, everything is linked. How do you expect to feel secure in your finances if you feel insecure in relationships or insufficient? Remember, the aim is not only to increase your net worth but to increase your self-worth. Millions of people with a high net worth think their self-worth is attached to that, but they deceive themselves as they try to deceive others. That is why having more than enough money is not necessarily the answer to inner content. Money can contribute to many joyful experiences, but that is not the debate. Even then, you can be crying on a billion-dollar yacht.
We are working towards feeling secure, sufficient, and worthy. From that feeling, more money can enter our lives as we allow it, learn to receive it, make money our friend, and treat it with respect as we respect ourselves more. If we reject aspects of ourselves, we subconsciously reject other things.
If you view money as an enemy or something negative, you reject or resist it. Why would you reject something that can bring good things and relieve stress? It makes no sense other than that you reject good stuff for yourself; in other words, you do not feel worthy of it. It is not the money in itself that is the underlying problem; it's our relationship with ourselves.
You might disagree that you view money as a negative as you dream about having a large amount of money and how it will fix your life. The "positive" you dream about is having fewer problems and feeling better overall. The "fix" you want to have is the experience of feeling you have enough. What you are really longing for is knowing you are enough.
The psychology of money is intricate, but one well-known phenomenon is that once people reach a financial target or earn more money, their target goes higher, or they spend more, so they stay in the same position. They never feel that they have earned enough because they still don't feel "enough."
You might say you'll be happy with just enough money not to stress about it. If that is your goal, work towards that by becoming enough to match that. However, we have an innate tendency to evolve; the rest must follow as we evolve naturally. So your "enough" will have to keep up.
The Future Begins Now
So, where does that leave us? In this process of self-discovery, it's time to shed the skin of our past identities and step into the radiant light of authenticity.
The answer, therefore, is simple: aspire to know yourself inside and out and explore who you are without the constrictions you have formed from past beliefs that came from other people who don't even recall the same events. People have carried stories with them for a lifetime, believing them as fact, only to discover that the other person involved had no clue about the same thing, so it was never an issue.
There is so much we can let go of. As much as we care for our loved ones, people don't care that much. By that, I mean the stuff that you think is important that people have moved on from and forgotten. They have their stuff that nobody else cares about.
No longer bound by the stories that once defined us, we can embrace our true selves – flawed, imperfect, and utterly human. This is the heart of personal growth.
So let's look at it right here, right now.
You are here as you are.
Do you still identify with the stories of your past?
Why not create a future where you no longer have to identify with the pain from the past?
You say why that is part of who I am…
It is something you identify with… It isn’t YOU.
Choose your real identity, your authentic being, not someone shaped by others' actions.
You are not your past. You are what you choose to become. So, let go of the past, embrace the future, and become the director of your own story.
#OwnYourWorth #WomenEmpowerment #SelfWorth #EmotionalHealing #SelfIdentity #Money #Finances #Relationships
The aim is not only to increase your net worth but to increase your self-worth. True freedom begins when you realize that you are enough, just as you are.
The Power of Identity Shifting
Welcome to ProsperWoman! Today, we explore the power of letting go of past narratives, embracing your true self, and redefining your worth beyond external validation and how that plays a vital role in our financial lives.
I’m Carmen Tosca, a certified financial coach, artist, traveler, and animal advocate. I founded this platform exclusively to help women attain financial freedom.
I write and teach about the vital connection between money, mindset, and self-love—it's about healing and empowerment, offering a holistic approach to money management that enables you to design your ideal life.
If you're a woman who wants to manage your money confidently, ready to break free from past limitations, or navigate the struggles of divorce and reclaim your financial power, I'm here to guide you through a transformation that goes far beyond numbers—it's about rediscovering your worth and living with autonomy.
Let’s transform your life—one courageous step at a time, one woman at a time!
If you prefer to watch the video of this blog post, scroll down to the end of this article. :-)
However, if you are no longer in such a relationship, does that mean you are not worthy anymore just because there is no other person to share it with? Again, of course not. You are still the same person you went into the relationship with, with all the worth you contributed. You might have
grown and learned some lessons, but your worth didn't change.
Why do we attach our worthiness to a relationship? Some people are devastated when a relationship ends because they feel they have no use, purpose, or identity without someone else. If that is you, please find your sense of self. Understand that a relationship would not have been possible without what you brought into it.
Even if the other party ended it, betrayed you, or made you feel rejected, know that that is due to different issues and not because you are not worthy. If you think someone rejects you, it comes from a process of where both of you are. This means you might have grown apart without noticing the other person's values no longer align. There are numerous reasons, but not one concerns your worthiness. That is why you cannot be rejected; you only feel that way. There are other reasons why a relationship ended, and if we can accept it for what it is instead of thinking there is something "wrong" with us, we can heal from the loss.
